“Addiction surrenders later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will.”

Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Nov. 1988, 7.

I admit I have often wondered why the Addiction Recovery Program I attend claims to be of worth to family and friends of those who suffer from addiction, not just the addicts themselves. So much of the material is directed toward those with addictions. Recently, I’ve realized that it is helpful to truly understand what is going on in the lives of our loved ones.

For example, this quote which is found in Step 1 of the manual, has brought be great comfort. Often times, I find myself thinking, “If this person really loved me or cared about me at all, he or she would stop the behaviors that causes me so much pain.” After re-reading this statement, I realized that it’s not about the strength of their love for me. The addicts I care about literally can’t control that aspect of their lives. In fact, depending on the strength of their addiction, some addicts can’t control any part of their lives. This quote has helped me not take their destructive behavior personally, and that has helped ease some of the pain.